In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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