what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize