My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
