Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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