i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
