so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
