We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
