It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
