I hate your face
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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