Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
