Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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