this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
