this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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