he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Who died my cat blue again?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
