People with herpes should wear stickers.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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