she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
