I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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