I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
