One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
