ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
