I think I just saw someone hide a body.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
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