If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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