She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
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In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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