dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
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