I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
