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• (424): View more from California

  I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed

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• (315): View more from New York

  i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.

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• (812): View more from Indiana

  I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila

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• (864): View more from South Carolina

  theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.

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• (252): View more from North Carolina

  Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat

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• (971): View more from Oregon

  Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.

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