Texts From Last Night

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  (517): View more from Michigan

  I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.

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  (517): I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher. http://tfl.nu/b9fx
  Replies (6) Good night (564) Bad night (1534)
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  (+44): View more from England

  why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??

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  (+44): why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star?? http://tfl.nu/ikzh
  Replies (13) Good night (1011) Bad night (3147)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.

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  (214): He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating. http://tfl.nu/pak1
  Replies (5) Good night (493) Bad night (3311)
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  (415): View more from California

  Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in

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  (415): Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in http://tfl.nu/whuh
  Replies (14) Good night (4527) Bad night (2149)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.

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  (703): I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench. http://tfl.nu/hb4t
  Replies (11) Good night (2635) Bad night (1794)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.

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  (304): My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires. http://tfl.nu/nxay
  Replies (14) Good night (3437) Bad night (1824)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.

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  (248): This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once. http://tfl.nu/vt1p
  Replies (7) Good night (1100) Bad night (2465)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire

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  (314): sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire http://tfl.nu/hb2c
  Replies (5) Good night (1641) Bad night (791)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.

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  (732): You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire. http://tfl.nu/i4tp
  Replies (7) Good night (1560) Bad night (650)
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  (348): View more from

  Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.

  (1-348): View more from

  You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.

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  (348): Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place. (1-348): You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion. http://tfl.nu/i2j4
  Replies (5) Good night (3289) Bad night (562)
• Favorite

  (985): View more from Louisiana

  I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.

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  (985): I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud. http://tfl.nu/94cv
  Replies (5) Good night (854) Bad night (508)
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  (530): View more from California

  Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me

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  (530): Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me http://tfl.nu/1ycp
  Replies (4) Good night (284) Bad night (608)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.

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  (407): I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case. http://tfl.nu/43fa
  Replies (6) Good night (625) Bad night (277)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants

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  (336): I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants http://tfl.nu/fpn9
  Replies (2) Good night (218) Bad night (449)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE

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  (785): SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE http://tfl.nu/zmng
  Replies (1) Good night (390) Bad night (288)

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