I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
This baby is an asshole
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
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