Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (250): i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time http://tfl.nu/g1as
  Replies (19) Good night (2613) Bad night (670)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner" http://tfl.nu/hbdd
  Replies (38) Good night (5864) Bad night (622)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (413): Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door http://tfl.nu/oj7i
  Replies (57) Good night (1519) Bad night (9690)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  giving yourself 2 days to recover i see

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (704): giving yourself 2 days to recover i see (828): I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night. http://tfl.nu/33op
  Replies (11) Good night (4633) Bad night (705)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (281): It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms. http://tfl.nu/ibyd
  Replies (13) Good night (5240) Bad night (861)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (970): Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today. http://tfl.nu/sid7
  Replies (12) Good night (7063) Bad night (1387)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (306): How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid http://tfl.nu/1mq4
  Replies (9) Good night (1003) Bad night (4523)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level http://tfl.nu/uegr
  Replies (11) Good night (5393) Bad night (1336)
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (903): I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times. http://tfl.nu/nwwj
  Replies (19) Good night (7410) Bad night (899)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (414): Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom. http://tfl.nu/gfee
  Replies (6) Good night (779) Bad night (1695)
• Favorite

  (928): View more from Arizona

  He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (928): He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero http://tfl.nu/1qw2
  Replies (6) Good night (698) Bad night (2281)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  I just don't do feelings in the summer months.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): I just don't do feelings in the summer months. http://tfl.nu/zjg3
  Replies (7) Good night (1535) Bad night (514)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey. http://tfl.nu/rdvv
  Replies (3) Good night (1019) Bad night (404)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me. http://tfl.nu/fq3w
  Replies (13) Good night (430) Bad night (993)
• Favorite

  (819): View more from Quebec

  I feel awkward giving career advice while naked

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (819): I feel awkward giving career advice while naked http://tfl.nu/b8zx
  Replies (2) Good night (467) Bad night (186)

Randomize