Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(614): View more from Ohio

Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.

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(240): View more from Maryland

We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer

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(507): View more from Minnesota

So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.

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(415): View more from California

And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.

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29 Unspoken Rules Of “Bro Code”
Read it at the TFLN blog
(709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.

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(419): View more from Ohio

i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me

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(859): View more from Kentucky

I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out

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(269): View more from Michigan

My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."

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(919): View more from North Carolina

I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette

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