Texts From Last Night

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  (913): View more from Kansas

  season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.

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  (913): season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown. http://tfl.nu/f9w7
  Replies (33) Good night (4775) Bad night (1010)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.

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  (678): his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him. http://tfl.nu/quex
  Replies (24) Good night (6003) Bad night (1274)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.

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  (850): So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm. http://tfl.nu/5svr
  Replies (17) Good night (2672) Bad night (4098)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie

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  (504): Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie http://tfl.nu/6e1s
  Replies (13) Good night (4535) Bad night (1181)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.

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  (775): You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes. http://tfl.nu/wxud
  Replies (22) Good night (1277) Bad night (5069)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.

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  (504): If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life. http://tfl.nu/0spe
  Replies (9) Good night (2226) Bad night (1079)
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  (916): View more from California

  It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.

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  (916): It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie. http://tfl.nu/mir1
  Replies (12) Good night (1830) Bad night (734)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.

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  (318): In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina. http://tfl.nu/56nz
  Replies (12) Good night (484) Bad night (1787)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"

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  (614): We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us" http://tfl.nu/w1ue
  Replies (1) Good night (1196) Bad night (447)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.

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  (701): Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy. http://tfl.nu/ym5a
  Replies (3) Good night (472) Bad night (630)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.

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  (416): cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home. http://tfl.nu/bx4b
  Replies (3) Good night (1167) Bad night (379)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch

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  (+61): She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch http://tfl.nu/x1qz
  Replies (1) Good night (597) Bad night (447)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.

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  (402): There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP. http://tfl.nu/d9id
  Replies (3) Good night (424) Bad night (339)
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  (661): View more from California

  Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?

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  (661): Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45? http://tfl.nu/7eh6
  Replies (4) Good night (483) Bad night (291)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test

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  (804): He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test http://tfl.nu/c376
  Replies (3) Good night (808) Bad night (222)

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