You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
this hospital has no fireball
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store