Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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