I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
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