I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
