god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
