He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize