He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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