I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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