I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
