at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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