His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
