yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Randomize
