My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Randomize
