The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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