im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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