I'm so fucking centered right now
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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