he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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