whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
