Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
