Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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