ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
