dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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