Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
