Having a random hookup so left but love u
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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