nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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