So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
