But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I'm getting married
To pizza
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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