Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
