Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
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