You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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