Your mouth is God's brothel.
Someone shit on the floor
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Randomize
