I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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