I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize