I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Randomize