Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
