real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
