I seem to have left my pride at pride
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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