hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
