Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
