He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
