seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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